Diffusion

I am not here. Because I am afraid to be here. To be all in here again. Up to my neck. So I am holding back. I am not here. But I am not anywhere else either. Feels like I'm evaporating into thin air. More than ever I realize that I am not home, I am not whole, but fractured with my soul struggling to close the distance between the pieces. I am not here. I am not anywhere.